It's a dark cold night at the Toronto zoo.  Specifically the elephant house.  The massive beasts are huddled together for warmth, by their pens heating unit.  All is quiet, save a rustling in the hay.

A figure can be seen slithering across the dank hay covered floor.  In this dim light it looks like a giant snake.  But upon further inspection it's just Raahi Chopra...the Desert Asp.  We zoom in close but he slithers right on by the camera, a glazed look in his bloodshot eyes.  He disappears into the midst of elephant legs.  Minutes later one of the mighty pachyderms lets out a thunderous roar.  He is joined by another and another.  The animals stampede away to the other side of the pen.  This of course causes the shot to jostle and shake as the cameraman runs to safety. 

Moments later we see standing where the elephants were...The Desert Asp.  He has an odd grin on his face.  Actually its his usual grin...which honestly always looks kind of odd.  Who knows what he did to spook the giant animals so, but whatever it was, he seems very pleased with the results.

Sssssssso.  Crawling back from my daaaaank...darrrrrrk...hole.  Back to the ...ssssssurface.  Back to reclaim my place as a feared competitor.  Assss a valued member of J Crew...and not jussssst the ussssselesssssss ...afterthought.

No longer content to wallow in the ssssshadowssssss.  The Dessssert Asssssssp...issss here to reassssert himssssself into the ssssscene. 

Well...ssstill in the ssshadowsss, but...a little more visable.

And ssssso.  I find myssssself facing the giant...Ramossssss.  Thisssss lumbering beasssst...feelsss sssafe with hissss...gaggle of whores to ssssurround him.  To fluff...hissss ...pillowsssss.  He feelssss sssafe...towering above the resssst of usssss.  Towering above...inattentive to thosssse he deemssss below him.

I'm sssssure I fit in that category.  But offended not I am.  For the Dessssert Asssssp wantsss to be underessstimated.  Wantssss to be overlooked.  Dissssssssmissssssssed...as a tiny insignificant worm.

There liessss the fatal misssstake.  The Dessssert Assssp'ssss bite contains enough venom to topple even the largessssst of beasssts...within sssssecondsssss.

Don't believe me?  Good.

I want to ssssee the sssshock in your eyessss right before you loosssse consciousnessssss.  Right before ...the darknesssss reaches into your chessssst and squeezessss your heart...already weakened by trying to pump blood to each far off expansssse of your persssssson. 

Ramossssssss.  The ratssss fleeing my wraith sssshall use your bloated corpssssse as a raft...to try and esssscape from me.  But there sssshall be NO ESCAPE!  NO MERCY!  NO END TO PAIN UNTIL THE ASP HAS EATEN HIS FILL AT THE TABLE OF RAMOSSSS! 

SSSO SHALL IT BE SSSSPOKEN SSSO SHALL IT BE DONE!!!

His shouting has disturbed the elephants again and they now come charging directly at him.  They must have figured out that this little man is not a threat to them, and is merely annoying and hogging their heat.  Asp yelps and runs away, scrambling up a grate on a nearby wall and flipping over the top.  He disappears again into the night from which he was spawned.